A year ago, I had mentioned that 2018 was going to be a tough one. I was fearful of what was to come, but confident in my abilities to tackle whatever was coming. As I have learned, I can overcome whatever is thrown at me. But, it was not until this past year that I began to question that.
In 2018, I had spent a majority of my time, feeling as if everything I was doing was wrong. As I look back on it now, my only regret is dwelling on the mistakes I had made. I need to remind myself that mistakes are a part of the learning experience and self-growth. Even though I had made plenty of them this past year, I realized it is because I had taken more risks than ever before. 2018 was the time, where I was courageous enough to be true to myself. And because of that, I had gained so much more.
“It’s only when you risk failure that you discover things.”
– Lupita Nyong’o
For 2019, I want to continue to be a better version of myself. When I was on a photoshoot this past year, one of my clients had said to me, “I know I come-off as intimidating to people; I use that as a defense mechanism.” That is something I can absolutely relate to. So, alongside that, here are my other intentions for the new year:
- Be present. Instead of using my past to define myself and constantly worrying about the future with “what ifs’,” I want to focus my attention in the now. I have spent far too many moments, distracted by what I cannot control that I did not appreciate what was in-front of me.
- Dream bigger. I am reminded by a special individual in my life that somewhere along the way, I had placed limitations to what I can achieve. He had shown me that opportunities are endless, and I just have to be brave enough to take it.
- Stop seeing problems as problems. Instead of seeing problems as problems, I want to practice seeing them as “situations.” Because with problems, it can sometimes feel like the end of the world.
- Show more appreciation and gratitude to people, especially my loved-ones. The people in my life have all been there for me in my time of need. I cannot recall the number of times, where I had fallen-apart in-front of them, and they were all there to catch me, each and every time.
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable. There is no doubt that I had allowed myself to be vulnerable this past year. If anything, that was all I was. I used to associate people’s vulnerabilities as weaknesses, but I am now seeing it as a sign of strength. It takes real courage to open-up about what you are actually feeling.
Even though this past year has been my toughest yet, there are far more greater memories that came out of it. I hope you are having a great start into 2019, so far! Happy New Year to you all!