Category Archives: #TOTD

#MotivationMonday : Fear Of Disappointment

August 24, 2015

Last Friday, I discussed J.K. Rowling’s Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination.  One of the statements she made really stuck on me —

“…I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself and what those closest to me expected of me.”

If this sounds familiar, you and I have something in common.  Today, I want to talk about this fear of disappointment.  To be afraid of disappointing others is a natural fear.  It derives from our strive for perfection, and the need for approval from those around us.  Ironically, the more we try to control the situation, the worst it gets.  So, why not just embrace the disappointments?  I mean, the constant stress, anxiety, and worrying will turn out to be a waste of your time.  Depending on the situation, of course, the thing you’ve been going crazy about doesn’t even matter.

When you continue to live this way, you’ll find out real quick that you’ll never be able to move forward with your personal and professional life.  You’ll discover that you can’t make important decisions because you’re too busy fearing what others may think of you.  The worst thing you can do is to not give yourself a chance.

So, remember…don’t put yourself down just so people wouldn’t have a reason to be disappointed in you. You are a lot more than what you think you are!

 

XOXO,

– Lori

 

Image via Tumblr

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#FridayReads : Very Good Lives by J.K. Rowling

August 21, 2015

One of the books that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed re-reading this past summer is the Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination by J.K. Rowling.  Alright, it’s more of a speech than a novel.  Because J.K. Rowling’s 2008 Harvard Commencement Speech was so popular, publishers decided to print it out into a book.

Although I’ve been a post-graduate for over a year now, I still feel as if I just walked across the stage to receive my degree.  Then, of course, I realize that this didn’t just happen yesterday, I am a post-graduate with plans that didn’t pan out.  So, reading a book or even a speech like this really helped provide insight into adulthood and knowing that I am not alone.

In this speech, Rowling addresses two topics: the benefits of failure and the importance of imagination.  She shares with the audience of her experiences twenty years ago by using humor and profound wisdom.

Being able to accept your failures, it allows you take out what is unnecessary in your life.  It also acts a motivator, giving you the opportunity to decide whether or not you are going to get back up or to let it run you down into the ground.  A topic that I’ve continuously discussed in the past few weeks here and here.  With failure, it allows you to grow and evolve as an individual.  Rowling also talks about imagination — not in the “Harry Potter” sense, but being a human being.  Being able to imagine ourselves in other people’s situations is one of the fundamental character attributes that Rowling emphasizes on.  In other words, we must have empathy.  A lot of us, especially youngsters like ourselves, don’t realize the capacity of influence we have on others or even the power to make this world a better place.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from Rowling’s speech:

– “Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself and what those closest to me expected of me.”

– “There is an expiration date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.”

– “What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty but failure.”

– “So why do I talk about the benefits of failure?  Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential.”

– “The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive.”

– “You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity.”

– “So given a Time-Turner, I would tell my twenty-one-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a checklist of acquisition or achievement.”

– “I think the willfully unimaginative see more monsters.  They are often more afraid.”

– “We do not need magic to transform our wold’ we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.”

Before she ends her speech, she leaves a final word of wisdom — friendship.  Having friends to help you along the way is very important to keeping your sanity.  If it wasn’t for my friends, I think I would be in a very dark place right now so thank you to them for always being there for me!

You can find the text and delivery of the speech here.  If you would like to see J.K. Rowling make the speech, check below:

Happy Friday Everyone!

– Lori

 

P.S. A big shout out to all the Ravenclaws out there!

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#MotivationMonday : Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

August 17, 2015

One of the easiest things you can do is to run yourself down.

Last week, I’ve talked about never giving up, and I understand it’s a lot easier said than done.  Sometimes, it’s really easy to forget all the great things about yourself when you’re constantly pinpointing your flaws or reminding yourself of your failures.  By continuously belittling yourself, you start to believe that all that you are is just that — flaws and failures.

But I am here to tell you otherwise.  I’m here to tell you what I try to tell myself every day — don’t be so hard on yourself!  It’s always good to push yourself a little further because that means you care, but don’t do it to the point where you become self-deprecating.

We can’t always control the things around us, and we absolutely cannot please everyone as well so why bother putting yourself down?  What you can do is wake up, dress up, and show up.  All that you can ask of yourself is to do better than what you did yesterday, and do it all over again tomorrow.

If you need a little more convincing, check out Jess Glynne’s Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself.  Besides the great vocals and upbeat tone, the video is a great inspiration for anyone whose running themselves into the ground.

 

 

XOXO,

– Lori

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#MotivationMonday : Never Give Up!

August 10, 2015


If you checked out my bio, you’ll know that I am currently looking for employment in fashion.
 

These past two weeks was just a clash of negative emotions.  After going through rejections after rejections, I’ve finally reached a point of total break down.

I screamed, I cried, and I told myself it’s time to give up.

But, then I asked myself this…

Why start something if you’re going to end up quitting?  Success is never gained without a little struggle.  Goals are achieved with persistence and patience, so stick to the plan until you get what you want and never settle for anything less.  When you hit a low-point in your life, remind yourself why you’re doing this.

Then ask yourself — if you were to give up now, would you regret it?

 

Remember…work hard, stay positive, and never give up.

 

– Lori

Image : Via Pinterest

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