Category Archives: INSPIRATION

#MotivationMonday : Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

September 28, 2015

With all these social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, it’s hard not to compare yourself to others.  You’d begin to wish for things you don’t have, and forget all the things that you do have.  Here are some things you should keep in mind:

 

  • Not everything you see online is always what it seems.  People are selective about what they choose to post, and most likely it’s always going to be something that will make them look good.  For instance, you’ll probably find updates from people who have recently visited Paris, obtained a new job at Google and recently got engaged, but rarely do you see the in-between details or what goes on behind-the-scenes.
  • We are all different.  People may have similar stories to tell, but never are they the same.  Each and every one of us have been given a different circumstance in life, and therefore faced different struggles and celebrated different experiences.
  • It’ll keep you from making the right decision for yourself.  With all these updates on how well these people’s lives are going, you can’t help but feel a bit discouraged.  You’ll find yourself making choices that will only get the satisfaction of others, but not yourself.  It’ll be a pursuit to replicate a life of another, but not a story that is yours.
  • You’ll lose a sense of self.  Comparing yourself to another person will only lower your self-esteem.  You’ll only focus on the flaws that you do have, eliminating all the great things that make up who you are.
  • It’s a battle that you can’t win.  It’s true, you’ll discover that it’s not fair to compare yourself to the lives of others.  It only takes you down a narrow, dark path that will always leave you unhappy.

I believe, that to be happy, you have to make it happen because it’s not something you can wait around on. And in doing so, you need to stop comparing yourself to others!  Because ninety-nine percent of the time that you do, you’re not being fair to yourself or the rest of the world.

Where ever you are in life, I hope that you find a way to let go and appreciate yourself more.  I know I’m working on this every single day, and it’s always an internal struggle.  You can start every morning with one quality that you’re proud of and one thing that you’re grateful for.  For instance, I am proud to be an outspoken woman and individual, and one thing that I am grateful for is my family, who keeps me that way.  Please share below one quality that you’re proud of and one thing that you’re grateful for!

 

Have a wonderful Monday!

– Lori

 

Image via Tumblr

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on TumblrPin on PinterestShare on Google+

#MotivationMonday : Fear Of Disappointment

August 24, 2015

Last Friday, I discussed J.K. Rowling’s Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination.  One of the statements she made really stuck on me —

“…I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself and what those closest to me expected of me.”

If this sounds familiar, you and I have something in common.  Today, I want to talk about this fear of disappointment.  To be afraid of disappointing others is a natural fear.  It derives from our strive for perfection, and the need for approval from those around us.  Ironically, the more we try to control the situation, the worst it gets.  So, why not just embrace the disappointments?  I mean, the constant stress, anxiety, and worrying will turn out to be a waste of your time.  Depending on the situation, of course, the thing you’ve been going crazy about doesn’t even matter.

When you continue to live this way, you’ll find out real quick that you’ll never be able to move forward with your personal and professional life.  You’ll discover that you can’t make important decisions because you’re too busy fearing what others may think of you.  The worst thing you can do is to not give yourself a chance.

So, remember…don’t put yourself down just so people wouldn’t have a reason to be disappointed in you. You are a lot more than what you think you are!

 

XOXO,

– Lori

 

Image via Tumblr

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on TumblrPin on PinterestShare on Google+

#FridayReads : Very Good Lives by J.K. Rowling

August 21, 2015

One of the books that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed re-reading this past summer is the Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination by J.K. Rowling.  Alright, it’s more of a speech than a novel.  Because J.K. Rowling’s 2008 Harvard Commencement Speech was so popular, publishers decided to print it out into a book.

Although I’ve been a post-graduate for over a year now, I still feel as if I just walked across the stage to receive my degree.  Then, of course, I realize that this didn’t just happen yesterday, I am a post-graduate with plans that didn’t pan out.  So, reading a book or even a speech like this really helped provide insight into adulthood and knowing that I am not alone.

In this speech, Rowling addresses two topics: the benefits of failure and the importance of imagination.  She shares with the audience of her experiences twenty years ago by using humor and profound wisdom.

Being able to accept your failures, it allows you take out what is unnecessary in your life.  It also acts a motivator, giving you the opportunity to decide whether or not you are going to get back up or to let it run you down into the ground.  A topic that I’ve continuously discussed in the past few weeks here and here.  With failure, it allows you to grow and evolve as an individual.  Rowling also talks about imagination — not in the “Harry Potter” sense, but being a human being.  Being able to imagine ourselves in other people’s situations is one of the fundamental character attributes that Rowling emphasizes on.  In other words, we must have empathy.  A lot of us, especially youngsters like ourselves, don’t realize the capacity of influence we have on others or even the power to make this world a better place.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from Rowling’s speech:

– “Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself and what those closest to me expected of me.”

– “There is an expiration date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.”

– “What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty but failure.”

– “So why do I talk about the benefits of failure?  Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential.”

– “The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive.”

– “You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity.”

– “So given a Time-Turner, I would tell my twenty-one-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a checklist of acquisition or achievement.”

– “I think the willfully unimaginative see more monsters.  They are often more afraid.”

– “We do not need magic to transform our wold’ we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.”

Before she ends her speech, she leaves a final word of wisdom — friendship.  Having friends to help you along the way is very important to keeping your sanity.  If it wasn’t for my friends, I think I would be in a very dark place right now so thank you to them for always being there for me!

You can find the text and delivery of the speech here.  If you would like to see J.K. Rowling make the speech, check below:

Happy Friday Everyone!

– Lori

 

P.S. A big shout out to all the Ravenclaws out there!

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on TumblrPin on PinterestShare on Google+

#MotivationMonday : Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself

August 17, 2015

One of the easiest things you can do is to run yourself down.

Last week, I’ve talked about never giving up, and I understand it’s a lot easier said than done.  Sometimes, it’s really easy to forget all the great things about yourself when you’re constantly pinpointing your flaws or reminding yourself of your failures.  By continuously belittling yourself, you start to believe that all that you are is just that — flaws and failures.

But I am here to tell you otherwise.  I’m here to tell you what I try to tell myself every day — don’t be so hard on yourself!  It’s always good to push yourself a little further because that means you care, but don’t do it to the point where you become self-deprecating.

We can’t always control the things around us, and we absolutely cannot please everyone as well so why bother putting yourself down?  What you can do is wake up, dress up, and show up.  All that you can ask of yourself is to do better than what you did yesterday, and do it all over again tomorrow.

If you need a little more convincing, check out Jess Glynne’s Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself.  Besides the great vocals and upbeat tone, the video is a great inspiration for anyone whose running themselves into the ground.

 

 

XOXO,

– Lori

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on TumblrPin on PinterestShare on Google+